do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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