You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
