Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
