And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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