I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
