I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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