I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
