How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
