i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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