Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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