I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
