oh god the rape fog is back!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize