Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
