imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
