We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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