This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
