Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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