The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I supernannyed him into submission
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
