i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
