Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
