She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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