Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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