but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
