Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I think I am morally bankrupt
this beer tastes like vomit already
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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