I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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