i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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