I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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