I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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