my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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