I could have mohawked her pubes.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
