so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
