IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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