were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
