I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
