im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
