2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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