Sry I called you an 8
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
