R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
