That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
