I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
