That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize