Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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