im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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