dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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