Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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