I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
