Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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