I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
