i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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