I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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