i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I want to be your penis for a week.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Congratulations! We have a period
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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