ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
