i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
