if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
