kristin has been a bad kristin
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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