She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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