it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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