Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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