Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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