She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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