Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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