The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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