look no pants
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
