i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize