Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
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