Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
